Trust After Betrayal
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Recent Comments
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- Duane Osterlind on Emotional Attunement & Empathy
I think a road block further into recovery for the couple could be emotional abuse that hasn’t been fully addressed.
As I got further into my healing I finally realized that I was being triggered regularly by abusive tendencies I didnt alway see. Gaslighting, manipulating, blame shifting were all behaviors that protected my Hs secrets. Now I see that those behaviors are ingrained in his personality. It happens in both big and small ways. From who spilled the milk to who accessed this website…the abusive responses are the same.
I believe that the abusive behaviors should be fully addressed and recognized by both spouses EARLY in recovery. The addict needs to break away from those behaviors.
In our case…even tho he is ‘sober’ those tactics remain present in all aspects if his life. Home and work.
If the gaslighting about spilled milk is triggering a trauma response….healing can never take place because u are constantly retraumatized by the feelings that go along with being abused that way. The trauma response then triggers the addicts ingrained response….and the abuse cycle continues
Kim, thank you for commenting. I think this is often the roadblock to deeper recovery. Addressing it directly promotes healing for everyone.